You’ve probably felt this way many times whenever you’re rejected or ghosted from a job. “I’m not smart enough.”, “I’m not skilled enough.”, “I’m not experienced enough.”, and the biggest one… “I’m not WORTHY enough.” Well, what if someone told you how to redefine rejection so you never have to feel discouraged about losing a job opportunity ever again?

This is where Author and Entrepreneur Jamie Kern Lima comes in, where she redefines the meaning of rejection and failure in her newest book, WORTHY. Traditionally, when we think of failure and rejection, we think about how it’s a reflection on us and how we may have possibly done something wrong that caused us to experience that failure and rejection.

This will cause us to most likely not take chances and hold ourselves back simply because we’re afraid of failing and being rejected. However, Jamie teaches us that sometimes failure is not always a bad thing. Sometimes, failure and rejection are signs that you’re being protected from something that’s not good for you and redirected toward something better.

“The hardest thing is many people actually never step out of their comfort zone because they’re afraid of rejection,” Jamie stated in an article for Author Lewis Howes. “I agree that it hurts, and it sucks when it happens. Sometimes, it doesn’t make sense, and it doesn’t feel fair. … But I believe that rejection is God’s or the universe’s way of protecting me.”

So, here’s how Jamie uses the process of The Four Rs to transcend rejection and how we can use it to protect our self-worth while seeking employment. First, it’s essential to reveal by identifying your current definitions of failure and rejection. This goes back to what I stated in the beginning: when people experience rejection and failure in the job market, one of the first things that most people think of is their self-worth and how they don’t feel worthy of obtaining a job or anything worthwhile.

“As human beings, we are wired to avoid pain at all costs,” Jamie stated in her book. “It’s a survival mechanism. And when we feel not enough, or unworthy, or unlovable, we feel massive amounts of pain.” I applied to a Health and Human Services organization named BYOU a week ago. When I received my rejection email from the Head of Talent Acquisition, Ruth Shepherd, this past Tuesday, I felt like a failure, and the rejection hurt me bitterly.

Second, we need to redefine failure and rejections by creating new and empowering definitions for them. This means that when you get rejected or even ghosted by the job you applied for, you can add new meaning to it that will allow you to no longer take it to heart. “When you assign a new definition to each failure and rejection, you can choose one that frees you from taking rejection personally,” Jamie stated. “This is a HUGE benefit.”

She also advises people to redefine rejection and failure as a sign of protection from God, The Universe, or whatever you believe in. In other words, when you experience rejection, think of a higher power telling you, “You were accepted. I hid your value from them because they’re not assigned to your destiny.” After I got rejected by BYOU, I chose to redefine the situation by saying that I wasn’t dismissed. My value was hidden from them because they were not assigned to my destiny.

The next time a job rejects or ghosts you, you can redefine it with the same mentality. Thirdly, it’s essential to revisit and reframe past failures and rejections by assigning the new definitions that we have for them. In other words, revisiting past failures and rejections will help you make peace with what happened and release the pain and resentment you may still have.

“You can apply your new definitions of rejection and failure to past experiences that might still feel significant in your life today,” Jamie stated. “Doing this has helped me make peace with past situations and let go of lingering pain and resentment.” For all the rejections you experienced while looking for a job, you can use this tool to help you heal you from that pain, especially when you’re able to put things in a better perspective. Before I obtained employment as a volunteer news writer for The Standpoint News, I received plenty of rejections from jobs I applied to.

Now, I can make peace with those rejections by understanding that everything happened the way it did for a reason. Finally, the last step is to reveal again by tapping into your inner strength and newfound courage. In other words, your new definitions of failure and rejection will empower you to pursue more opportunities with more confidence and stronger self-worth.

“Once you’ve identified your new, empowering definitions of rejection and failure, you start to fear them less. You start to tap into your courage more.” Jamie stated. “And the more you build this practice of applying your new definitions to your life, the less you’ll sabotage opportunities, and the more confidently you’ll pursue your ideas, hopes, and dreams.”

So, once you’re able to redefine failure and rejection, this should encourage you to apply to jobs more often with the confidence that someone will see your value and worth for their business. I’ve also encouraged myself to apply to more jobs online because rejection and failure don’t affect me the same way they used to. In conclusion, Jamie Kern Lima’s method of redefining failure helps us protect our self-worth by letting us see that we’re not the problem.

There are many issues with the job market that we can’t control, but being rejected and ghosted by them shouldn’t define our worth. It just means that there may be some jobs that we’re not meant to have, but the right one will come to us eventually.